thoughts | loveliness. | Page 3

Category: thoughts
- perfect
  
  Posted at 4:08 pm by jasminedesirees, on March 26, 2013
  
  Have you seen this yet? Go ahead and check it out, I’ll wait….
  
  Tra la laaaa…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
  
  OK, isn’t that kind of crazy? I mean, everyone knows that photos of celebrities are Photoshopped, but there is something about seeing it happen right in front of your eyes that really makes you think.
  
  It’s easy to forget all of the work that goes into making people look that good, especially when they are just out laying around on the beach in a t-shirt, “oh this old thing, just something I threw on this morning”. And it’s not just Photoshop, but lighting, hair, makeup, wardrobe, all of these things work together to make this perfect image.
  
  It’s easy to forget that though, especially when you’re watching movies or a TV show. It’s not like you think these people are actually real, but if you don’t think about it really, it is nice to imagine that Seth and Summer are out there somewhere making out still.
  
  The thing that gets me, and I’ve even worked as an intern on TV show and commercial shoots before, is that I forget that what I’m watching isn’t really happening. Like if you’re watching Sex and the City, and Carrie is strutting down 5th avenue looking fabulous in her 5 inch heels and you’re like man I wish I could look like that and wear that.. she is actually not walking anywhere, but the three steps she has taken away from her hair and makeup team since the director said “Action”.
  
  Or when you watch Marissa Cooper (I’m re-watching the first season of the OC right now) wake up in a hot, nasty motel room in Tijuana and she looks like an angel, and you’re like why don’t I look like that when I wake up?
  
  It’s because she didn’t just wake up, she just laid down in the bed, and had her hair, clothing and makeup fixed by professionals 3 seconds before she opened her eyes and “woke up”.
  
  That seems extremely obvious, and maybe it is to a lot of people, but I tend to get very wrapped up in the story line and forget, which is probably a good thing, and basically the point of entertainment, but I think that it can be at least depressing, if not dangerous to compare ourselves constantly to something that is actually not real.
  
  It’s one thing for older people who at least have some idea that it’s just a collection of a few second clips edited together to look like a continuous, and realistic event, but I think more effort needs to be made to educate younger people, especially younger girls, so they don’t constantly feel the need to compare themselves to something that is not attainable in real life.
  
  This is a pretty cool video I came across a few years ago, for the Dove Real Beauty Campaign:
  
  Posted in thoughts | 0 Comments
- twenty six
  
  Posted at 3:33 pm by jasminedesirees, on March 15, 2013
  
  Happy Birthday to me.
  
  It’s strange to me that I am 26, I still feel like I am 12 most of the time, and honestly I haven’t changed that much since I was. But time keeps passing even when you don’t notice it, and it’s pretty crazy to me to look back now at my life, especially since I graduated high school.
  
  I’ve met so many incredible people, and had so many wonderful experiences, I am truly grateful for all of it. If you had told me at 12 that I would have had the opportunity to do so many of the things I’ve done, I wouldn’t have believed you, but I would have hoped you were right.
  
  Highlights from this last year, for me were:
  
  – Finally being able to get a job in the U.S., and finding one that I like with wonderful co-workers was definitely a bonus.
  – My mom and Ry coming out to visit us and see our new house in June
  – Getting married in July, and getting to see all of my favourite people in one place, at the same time
  – Running my first solo-half marathon in October
  – Our road trip down the coast to Carmel for Derek’s birthday
  – Taking Derek back to Canada with me to see my home town in November
  – Mexico with my family for Christmas
  – Hawaii with my mom and sister in January
  – A road trip to L.A. with Derek in February
  
  This year I am looking forward to:
  
  – My parents coming out to visit in a couple of weeks, this will be the first time my Dad has been able to come
  – Hawaii in May for Derek’s graduation
  – My best friend moving to Oregon, so I can stalk her on long weekends
  – Fourth of July weekend in Montana with my older sister and her beautiful babies
  – A September long weekend wedding
  – The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in September with my momma and sisters, go Team Ta-Tas!
  
  And lots more.
  
  If you were thinking of getting me something for my birthday, but you weren’t able to get in touch with Charlie Hunnam, you could sponsor me for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, here.
  
  yes.
  
  Posted in life, thoughts | 0 Comments | Tagged avon walk for breast cancer, birthday, life
- the happiness project
  
  Posted at 5:51 pm by jasminedesirees, on February 22, 2013
  
  I just finished reading the happiness project by Gretchen Rubin. She basically spent a year trying to figure out what made her happy and why and figuring out how she could make little changes to increase the joy she got from each day and how to identify and eliminate the little annoyances that can take it away.
  
  There were a few things in the happiness project that I found very interesting. One of her happiness resolutions was to “be Gretchen”, or to stop doing the things that were supposed to make her happy, or the things that other people enjoy and really figure out the things that made her happy.
  
  She talked about how we can feel pressure to like certain things because we wish we were people who enjoyed them or because we think they are more intellectual or cooler than the things we really like, but if those things don’t actually make you happy, or worse, actually make you feel bad about yourself or guilty because you feel like you should do them and you don’t want to, then that can drain your happiness.
  
  If you really love listening to Top 40 music, but you are ashamed because you think you should enjoy listening to classical, or jazz because it’s “cooler” or “more intellectual” so you try to force yourself to listen to it. There is something to be said for broadening your horizons and learning new things, but at the end of the day, why not embrace the things that truly make you happy in life?
  
  And I’ve never really understood people that say they have “good” taste in music because they like jazz or underground rap. Isn’t that point of music to make you feel connected and happy? Any music that makes you feel good, is good music. The end.
  
  Another interesting point from The Happiness Project was about how things like bad habits or nagging tasks can steal moments of joy from your day because you feel bad about eating junk, not calling your grandmother or not making that doctor’s appointment.
  
  I am a bit of a procrastinator myself, and I can definitely see that I would save myself a lot of time feeling guilty about not doing something if I just did it, and that some of my bad habits, while they may feel great at the time (like eating an entire bag of chocolate chips) lead immediately to feeling guilty, weak, and in my case, sick.
  
  I’d never really thought of things like this as taking away from your happiness, but I suppose if there are little tasks and bad habits that are constantly weighing on you, it could be a major source of unhappiness that might be eliminated fairly easily.
  
  One of the most interesting parts of the book for me was when she was researching the link between companionship/friendship and happiness. She found that for both women and men, the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women. Time spent with men doesn’t make a difference.
  
  There are several reasons for this, including women being generally more empathetic, and better listeners. This point really struck me, because I know the times in my life when I have felt the loneliest, those are the times when I didn’t have a lot of female friendships, or at least contact with women.
  
  So basically, girls night out is very important, it’s science.
  
  You can learn more about The Happiness Project here.
  
  Posted in life, thoughts | 0 Comments
- hungry for change
  
  Posted at 5:02 pm by jasminedesirees, on February 1, 2013
  
  After my little rant last week, I was still feeling pretty frustrated about nutrition. I know I don’t eat the best all the time, and I know that eating as much chocolate as I do is probably not ideal, but I KNOW that. What I want to know is how I should be eating most of the time, so that I can sometimes eat desserts and cheesy things (mmm lasagna) and know that I’m still eating as healthy as I could be, at least 80% of the time.
  
  I started reading the book Clean by Alejandro Junger and it had some great suggestions for ways to get started eating healthier, and even some recipes. I also watched Hungry for Change, a documentary (available on Netflix) and it was actually kind of crazy how it addressed a lot of the things I was talking about last week. I would definitely recommend this film for anyone who wants to learn more about nutrition.
  
  The film talks about how our diet now is so much different from how it was back when people had to hunt or find everything they ate, at every meal. Our food used to be very nutrient rich, and low calorie, things like lean proteins, veggies, fruits, etc. Now our food is low nutrition, but very high calorie, so even though people are eating so many more calories, they aren’t getting the nutrition they need, so they can be overweight, but actually starving to death from lack of proper nutrition.
  
  It also explained how, even though our environment and the availability of food has changed drastically, our body is still designed the way it originally was (basically). So we are designed to gain weight whenever there is excess food because we used to need it, there could be a drought or long winter, and it might be a long time before our next meal, so storing up calories was very necessary. But now, our body still stores up calories in order to keep us nourished when food is not available, but now, for most people in America, there isn’t a time when we don’t have food, so we just keep storing.
  
  The one thing that really stuck with me from the film, though, is about all of the additives and preservatives that can be found in a most processed foods.. except Peanut M&M’s right? Those are still ok? RIGHT?
  
  It’s actually gets a little scary when you start to really look at the food labels, and see what some of them contain. With the help of Google, obviously, otherwise I wouldn’t know what most of that stuff even was. And I guess that’s the problem? If you really don’t know what something is, why would you put it in your mouth? Or into your children’s mouth’s?
  
  Since I started reading the book, I’ve been trying out the “cleanse” that it suggests. Well, sort of. It’s like a pre-cleanse cleanse called the Elimination Diet, and basically you just cut out sugar, processed foods, dairy, read meat and wheat products. At first I was like, but what’s left? But there is actually a lot you can eat, mostly free range chicken, wild caught fish, and organic fruits and veggies, you just have to get creative, because it can get a little boring (I actually made fish for supper last night… this has NEVER happened before, ever).
  
  It’s not bad for a “cleanse”, because you still get to eat, which is a necessity for me. I’ve been having a smoothie every morning (recipe here) with fruit as a snack before lunch. For lunch it’s been either quinoa, veggies and chicken, or this really great quinoa salad my friend turned me on to (recipe here) and I eat almonds as a snack. For dinner, it’s chicken and veggies, and I drink TONS of green tea all day.
  
  I don’t really know what I’m expecting I guess, I’ve been doing it for a week, and I can tell I’ve lost weight, but I have also felt a bit more tired, which can be a side effect. I guess what I am hoping is that after 2 more weeks, I’ll feel so amazing that I will want to keep eating like this most of the time, with occasional trips to the Cheesecake Factory, for special occasions.
  
  This Sunday is the Superbowl though, hopefully I can keep it up! I’ll keep you posted.
  
  If anyone has seen the film or read this book, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
  
  Posted in food, nutrition, thoughts | 0 Comments
- 808.
  
  Posted at 4:06 pm by jasminedesirees, on January 10, 2013
  
  Exciting news for me! I am going to Honolulu in 9 days with my mom and sister. I absolutely can’t wait, it’s been a year and a half since I left and I miss it every single day. I am basically too excited to do anything but jump up and down really fast, so I decided to distract myself by looking back through some pictures of my time on the island.
  
  It is truly such a special place to me, I lived there for 4 years, met my best friends and the boy, and had more fun than I even thought was possible. I woke up every morning, and truly felt lucky and so grateful to be able to spend another day there. To me, it will always be home.
  
  Sandy’s BBQ
  
  Waikiki with my favourites
  
  My 21st birthday
  
  Valentine’s Day
  
  Hilton Lagoon
  
  Seeester
  
  Navy Ball
  
  Best picture ever taken
  
  Cha Cha Cha’s
  
  Baby J, Baby A, Mama C
  
  don’t ever leave me cuz i’ll come find you
  
  Shower cap night
  
  love them
  
  this hurts my heart, i miss her so much
  
  lighthouse hike
  
  west coast best coast
  
  roomies
  
  one of the good ones
  
  my lovely island from Tantalus
  
  That’s actually a lot of pictures, but it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of all the wonderful times I had. I am SOEXCITED to go back to see all my favourite places, I just wish all of my favourite people could be back there with me.
  
  Posted in Hawaii, thoughts, travel | 0 Comments
- attribution
  
  Posted at 4:21 pm by jasminedesirees, on December 14, 2012
  
  One of the theories that was most interesting to me when I was taking classes for my MA in Communication was Attribution Theory.
  
  It basically says that people look for cause and reaction in their everyday lives, and in the actions and behaviors of those around them, but that we are more likely to attribute our successes (winning a race, getting a promotion) as internal (we are smarter, stronger, faster, etc than the other guy) and our failures as external ( the other guy cheated, the stakes were unfair, etc) and we are more likely to attribute the successes of other people as external (they were lucky, there was less competition) and other people’s failures as internal (they aren’t as smart, they are lazy, lack motivation, etc).
  
  I feel like this is very applicable in real life, on a pretty much constant basis. We know why we do the things we do, and we all like to see ourselves as good people, so we are able to rationalize our actions and behaviors in a positive way.
  
  We also want to understand why other people do what they do, but since we don’t actually know what their motivation is or what they are thinking or feeling at the time, we basically have to guess, and it can be easy to make judgements about people based on these guesses, even though at the end of the day we really have no idea why that person acted the way they did.
  
  As a personal example, this was a long time ago but I still remember it like it was yesterday, there was a guy from my high school who I kind of knew but not very well. He messaged me online one day, so I was chatting with him, and he told me that he thought I was a stuck up bitch basically, because I never said hello to him, even though he never said anything to me either.
  
  Now, I am kind of awkward and shy if I don’t know people pretty well, that’s just the way it is, so I just figured he was the same way, and never really thought about it again, but he had rationalized to himself that the reason he hadn’t said anything to me was that he was too shy, but that I was deliberately not talking to him because I was stuck up and rude.
  
  We both rationalized each other’s behaviour, and assigned motivation to our actions, even though, really, we had no idea why the other person hadn’t said anything.
  
  That’s just one example, but it happens all the time, to everyone. They say first impressions are everything, but you might miss out on a really great person, or an awesome friend because of a judgement you made about that person based on nothing but your own rationalization of their behaviour.
  
  Basically:
  
  Try giving people the benefit of the doubt, they might just surprise you.
  
  Posted in thoughts | 0 Comments | Tagged attribution theory, communication, life, thoughts
- anatomy of an ugly Christmas sweater
  
  Posted at 3:39 pm by jasminedesirees, on December 7, 2012
  
  It’s Christmas time again, the time when a young woman’s fancy turns to thoughts of finding the most hideous sweater ever knitted. My work Christmas party this year has adopted this popularly festive theme, so I am prepared to dress accordingly.
  
  Ideally, you have an eccentric great-aunt with an attic full of novelty holiday wear available to anyone brave enough to climb the rickety ladder and battle through years of accumulated dust and cobwebs, but that’s generally not the case.
  
  There are plenty of online options, people hoping to make big bucks off of those of us who have waited until the last minute and are torn between ordering something on Ebay to be overnight shipped into our waiting arms, or actually teaching ourselves to knit via YouTube video and whipping up what will surely be the ugliest sweater at the party, and not in a good way.
  
  Buying an ugly sweater online, while certainly convenient, feels inauthentic to me somehow. Sure you are at the party, maybe your sweater is uglier than anyone else’s, but that’s why you bought it.
  
  It’s not really fair to compare those sweaters with the ones that were actually received as gifts from a well meaning grandmother who honestly thought it was cute, and thusly, must be dug out and worn to every applicable family function between Halloween and President’s Day, so as not to cause offense. Those are the people who really earned the title of Ugliest Christmas Sweater. Respect.
  
  As for me, I am hoping to land somewhere in the middle, by looking at the thrift store and Goodwill. Sure, I will have purchased my sweater, but I think the hours spent sorting through the piles of denim overalls and “Grandchildren tug at my heart strings” t-shirts has to count for something.
  
  This is my sweater from a few years ago. No, it is not the ugliest, or most festive of sweaters, but if you had seen the trail of gold glitter this thing left behind, you would probably vote for me. Sadly, I no longer own it, as it was refused entry into our apartment and unceremoniously tossed from the balcony by this one guy I know.
  
  If you truly must buy your sweater online, please make it this one.
  
  Posted in life, thoughts | 0 Comments
- back to the ’50’s…
  
  Posted at 12:09 am by jasminedesirees, on November 26, 2012
  
  I was out Christmas shopping for my lovely little Sailor Moon the other day, when I saw something that kind of surpised me. I haven’t spent time in the little girls toy section for years, I’ve mostly been buying toys for my nephew, so I was excited to see all the new and exciting toys that have come out since my days of pogs and ninja turtles.
  
  There were still tons of dolls, but I was kind of surprised and happy to see that the Barbie doll had gotten a makeover in recent years. They are bigger now, still pretty skinny but they have more curves now, their hips are much more realistic, and their heads are bigger and more life-like. There were also a lot more “techie” toys especially some great learning toys that might be good for her when she is a bit older.
  
  I was kind of surprised to see this however:
  
  Still, in this day and age where women can be anything they want to be, they are selling little vacuums, broom sets and ironing boards for little girls toys. I don’t think there is anything wrong with “playing house” I did that a lot when I was younger, but something about the way these toys were bright pink and covered in Minnie Mouse and obviously geared towards little girls shocked me a little bit.
  
  It would be one thing if it was like a house-section and there were more gender neutral versions or ones with more masculine design and decoration, but they weren’t selling anything like this in the boys section, I checked.
  
  The argument could absolutely be made that little girls gravitate more towards these kinds of toys because they are born nurturers, and they like to take care of things, and keep things neat and clean, but that brings us back to the Nature vs. Nurture debate.
  
  First of all, all little girls are not like that, many of them would rather be out playing baseball or soccer or doing science experiments than playing with dolls, just as there are little boys who would rather bake cookies and read than be outside playing in the mud.
  
  And also, you have to wonder again if even the little girls that do like to play with dolls, and the little boys that do idolize cowboys and fast cars do so because they really like them, or if that is how we socialize them and teach them about gender in our society.
  
  Maybe if little girls were given the opportunity to do more of the traditionally masculine activities, instead of being given a baby doll to take care of from the moment they are old enough to open their eyes, they might gravitate towards different activities.
  
  It also reminded me of this video I saw a few weeks ago:
  
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  Posted in thoughts | 0 Comments
- If you don’t have anything nice to say…
  
  Posted at 6:25 pm by jasminedesirees, on October 28, 2012
  
  then you’re probably talking about the election. I’m not able to vote in this election, because I’m not an American citizen, but I still think it’s interesting and I try to read as much as I can and learn about the different issues. November 6th is coming up fast, I can tell because of the number of friends on Facebook I’ve had to “hide” until after that day. I think it’s awesome that everyone is so passionate, but there is so much negativity, and being subjected to that day after day can really affect your mood.
  
  The main thing that bothers me about a lot of the posts and tweets I read from people I know, is that they are SO negative, one-sided and honestly pretty ridiculous. Obviously people are going to have an opinion about who would do a better job based on how they feel about certain issues, but is it really possible that one of these guys is capable of fixing all the worlds problems, and the other is so incompetent that he has trouble getting out of bed and dressed in the morning without help?
  
  I think we can all agree that whoever you are voting for, or whichever side you generally support, both Romney and Obama would have needed to be fairly intelligent to get to where they are today, and while they certainly have different ideas about what needs to be done, especially with regards to social issues, neither of them is going to be able to fix everything.
  
  This is especially true when it comes to the economy. The most intelligent economists in the world aren’t even in agreement about what needs to be done to fix things, and just as soon as you hear about a plan that is bound to save us all, you flip to a different channel or read another article about how such a plan would doom us to “a thousand years of darkness.” There are a lot of different things that can be done to try to improve the current situation, but there are also many outside factors that have an effect, including wars, currency and economic stability in all of the other countries in the world. One person is not going to be able to fix or control all of that.
  
  Also, I think people need to take a more active role in learning about the candidates. If the most you are able to offer in a debate about why you are voting for one candidate over the other is “because Obama and Osama sound the same” or “because that one lady on that one show said…” or “if you vote for him then you’re stupid. and ugly. and you can’t read good. and neither can your mom” then maybe you need to do a little research.
  
  That also means listening to both sides of the story. Even if you are completely against something or someone, if you don’t know exactly WHY and WHAT that person is doing and saying, how can you make an informed decision, or be able to have an actual conversation about it?
  
  A few years ago I was on my way home from University on the bus, and I was reading a book by Ann Coulter, not because I agree with anything I’d ever heard her say, but I figured if I don’t at least TRY to read her book and form my own opinion on it, how will I really know, and more importantly, how will I be able to have a debate with someone that does agree with her?
  
  As I got off the bus, an older man cornered me, and gave me a lecture about reading that book and how I “shouldn’t believe everything I read..” Well that’s true, for sure, but it’s also very true that you shouldn’t believe everything that you hear. Find out for yourself, and then you’ll know for certain.
  
  One of the websites I like to go to for information is Factcheck.org. It’s a non-partisan website that fact checks political speech, ads, debates, etc from both sides, and tells you exactly what was true, what was false, and what was misleading. Check it out: http://factcheck.org/.
  
  Posted in thoughts | 0 Comments
- the boots that started it all
  
  Posted at 2:56 pm by jasminedesirees, on October 26, 2012
  
  It’s been over a year since I left my lovely little island to move to the Bay area (I still miss it every day!). I get restless very easily, and I love to travel and explore so when I found out we were moving, I was sad, but also very excited. California? Sure, that sounds like a good place to hang out for a bit.
  
  I don’t know if I really realized I was LEAVING Hawaii and not coming back. As we slowly got settled here, and that realization started to dawn on me, I was definitely sad, maybe even depressed.
  
  I couldn’t work yet because I didn’t have my work visa, I didn’t have any family or friends, no classes, no home, nothing. It was very hard for me to meet people, or to warm up to the people I did meet, because stripped of the things that I used to identify myself (country, home, school, friends, family, work) I did not feel like myself, and I didn’t want the people I met to know me the way I was then, but the way I was before.
  
  I remember thinking a lot of the time, “I bet you would really like me, if we ever met.” This went on for a lot longer than it should have, even once I started working, and doing things for myself, getting out and exploring, I still felt like a friendless little orphan a lot of the time.
  
  Then one day, I found The Boots.
  
  Now a pair of boots, while I’m sure they can be stylish, comfy, even sensible if you get the kind that have steel toes, or keep your feet dry, but they don’t have actual magical powers. These ones didn’t either, but they did have something else. They were chunky black motorcycle boots, boots that I’d wanted for years, probably since the first time I saw Daria on MTV but I never bought them for myself because I didn’t think I was someone who could pull them off.
  
  I’d even told my quite a bit more stylish younger sister how much I wanted these boots, and she made fun of them, and I promptly realized she was right, and put them out of my head. This has always been a recurring theme in my life, in all areas, but most easily noticeable when it comes to fashion.
  
  I’ve always loved fashion, and held a deep admiration for people who were able to wear anything they wanted and look stylish and effortless, but I have never personally felt that I was able to wear a lot of things, really for no other reason than I told myself I couldn’t.
  
  Fast forward to about a month after I had had my dreams of ever being Gemma Teller crushed mercilessly, and I was at the mall, in the Macy’s shoe department, when I saw the same boots I had fallen in love with online. They were black, Steve Madden and completely gorgeous. They were also on sale. And they had one pair left in my size. Now I wouldn’t say I am the most spiritual or intuitive person in the world, but I can take a hint.
  
  I bought them immediately, put them on as soon as I got home, and proceeded to fall in love, while pointedly ignoring the obvious looks of disdain being directed at my feet by That One Guy (also known as my lovely husband Derek). I thought I would feel weird wearing them out of the house, or have trouble finding any of my clothing that would go with it, but they seemed to fit right in with me and my life, my new best friends I could wear on my feet.
  
  What I realized then, was that whenever I am feeling orphaned or friendless (which I am not, I have the greatest friends in the world, they just happen to be scattered all over North America), I should try to appreciate the amazing opportunity I have to experiment with style, with hobbies, with eating, with fitness, with the people and things I spend time on.
  
  I have a completely clean slate to do anything I want to do. And while it sucks sometimes to be so far away from the people and things you love, I can take comfort in the fact that whether I leave the house in black motorcycle boots, a see-through white blouse, or ass-less chaps, nobody can judge me because nobody knows who I am.
  
  Following this epiphany, I’ve really started to get into this really neat place where I’ve started living, and trying to make the most of my time here. I bought black leather leggings, and I love them every time I wear them. I bought a cheetah print cardigan, a peblum shirt, a leather skirt, a mini sweater dress, a mini cheetah print sweaterdress, blood red lipstick.
  
  I ran my first half marathon without my mom (she usually does the pacing, I thought I was going to die), I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity, I started blogging.I’ve taken an interest in eating healthier (except for chocolate, there will always be room for chocolate) and started experimenting with quinoa, kale and coconut oil.
  
  We took a road trip down the coast and stopped at every beach along the way to Carmel. I signed up for a writing class. We went to a free concert in Golden Gate Park, and watched the Giants with the NL championship surround by San Franciscans at a Haight Street bar.
  
  I guess the point is, there is so much in life to do and so much to explore, it’s better to focus on the things we can do, rather than the things we don’t have. And if you’re not sure who you are, or what you really want, there is no time like the present to find out.
  
  Posted in Canada, Hawaii, life, San Francisco, thoughts | 0 Comments | Tagged California, growing up, life, moving, San Francisco, self discovery
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