I have a 12 hour train ride to North Dakota on Saturday, so I’ve been looking for some new books to help pass the time.
So far, I’m interested in this one or this one, but I also came across The Portable Dorothy Parker. It’s not available on Kindle, and the hard copy won’t arrive before I leave, but some of her quotes are too good not to share:
“Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live.”
-Enough Rope
“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”
“I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.”
“A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
“Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”
